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Over A Decade Making Porn! Why Am I Still Working In The Adult Industry 11 Years Later?
I recently celebrated eleven years as a performer and creator in the adult industry, and I can hardly believe it myself. This blog is not to encourage anyone into joining the adult industry, but to share my personal experiences working in adult content.
As I relaxed in my cute cozy apartment, accompanied by my two large old cats, I reflected on all the time that had past. So much had happened. Some things changed, while others remained the same. All in all, it felt like it had gone by so fast. I began my career in the adult industry as a cam model on myfreecams before pivoting and focusing on independent porn creation. But even back when I started, I knew I had found something special. The variety. The flexibility. Starting out I thought ‘I can never get bored doing this!’ For the most part, young model me was right. I’ve learned a lot through my work and still do every day.
How My Career In Amateur Porn Began
Everything started with the light on a webcam. Starting off felt slow. I was still in college earning my communication degree and living with a bunch of roommates. It made finding the time and privacy to cam incredibly difficult to say the least. Once I got my feet wet, and got the hang of dancing naked on the internet, my whole life started to change. I went from an exhausted college student on food stamps, to an energized creative cam model. I had more freedom, more money and most importantly, more time.
It wasn’t long before I started traveling in search of others in my field. I was able to fly across the country to meet and work with other models and attend huge adult conventions and meet ups. I had found a wild wonderful world in which I fit right in. No longer was I the naked roommate, but a jet setting internet stripper! Dancing and attracting eyes from around the world filled me with excitement. Performing for 100s of people at a time. What a rush!
A few years in I began creating my own porn videos to sell, which I started liking even more than streaming. Making adult videos is the majority of my work now, but I still look back on my early days as a cam model and smile.
The Top 3 Reasons I Still Love Making Adult Content
Even with the threats to the adult industry as a whole, the fierce competition, and the stigma the job holds, why am I still in love with making porn for a living?
One of the first benefits I gained being an adult content creator was the independence. I have the freedom to live my own life exactly how I want to live it. That’s everything to me. I’m able to curate a lifestyle most aligned with my goals and future plans. Of course the money has made the independence possible, but it’s also about the control of scheduling, being able to work from home, as well as the feeling you can only get from working for yourself. I fell in love with all of those things while camming and filming.
Working in the adult industry has also inspired my creative sexual energy. I’ve always been fascinated with both art and sex and my work is where both of those passions can collide beautifully. I completely understand why not everyone could do what I do. It requires a sexual openness and curiosity that not everyone has, and that’s ok.
I think some people would even accuse me of ‘glamorizing’ my job. I’m not saying there aren’t downsides. Like all industries, adult work can chew people up and spit them out. For me though, the adult space I work in gives me room to stretch out and be purely me. Creative sexual energy and all. In a world where we all have to work to survive, I’d much rather have a job that I can connect with and enjoy. If you want to know more about how porn inspires me creatively, check out my blog about the versatility of JOI to see how I explore my favorite porn genre on a deeper level.
This last reason could be a bit controversial. There’s no doubt that porn has a cultural Impact on our society, but I would argue that that’s a good thing. While my work is still work, and I do my job to put food on the table, I still get to make a contribution to the culture around me. That’s not possible in every job.
Through creating porn I get to make content that promotes self care and relaxation, joy and sexual acceptance, and just really great orgasms. Call my crazy, but I think that makes the world a little lovelier to live in. I love what I do. I also value how it impacts our society as a whole, despite what anti-porn advocates may believe.
What Have I Learned From Selling Porn For A Living?
Stay true to your boundaries and beliefs. Don’t be afraid to be alone. Take more pictures to remember it all by.
I also would have treated it like a business earlier on. Chances are, no one taught you how to work for yourself in school. While I got good grades and was considered a smart student, I only made it through school because of fierce self determination. I struggled to understand the material during class and would have to focus on it by myself before learning it properly. Years later I would get diagnosed with ADHD and all the struggling in school suddenly made sense.
However, I think that self teaching way of thinking and doing things set me on a good path when I found myself responsible for my own schedule, content, performances, everything. Don’t get me wrong. It took me a long time to feel comfortable and productive with my work, but it never would have happened if I wasn’t confident I could teach myself anything and everything I needed to keep getting better.
If I Could Go Back, Would I Do It All Again?
If I knew what I knew now? I’d do it all again but better. I’d have way more confidence for one. Not just in my appearance, but in my creativity and ideas. I think too often I would assume that other people knew more then me, or knew better. But most of the time you need to do what’s best for yourself. That includes being confident in your own choices and standing by them.
It be nice to go back in time and tell my younger self ‘Fuck imposter syndrome’ because I think that holds a lot of people back from going all in on their passions. I belong and feel at home in the adult industry. It’s where my artistry and sexual creativity flourish. It’s been eleven years, and I still can’t think of anything else I would rather be doing.
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My experience shooting to be June 2020’s Camstar
~ You can find all my links on my About Me ~
You can see my 2020 AVN June Camstar digital magazine here
As soon as the Camstar magazine came into being I knew I wanted to be one of the people to make it on a cover. Every month a different cam model from myfreecams is featured with an in-depth interview, as well as a behind the scenes video from the shoot. I dreamed of reaching those heights. I kept an eye on it for years and hounded any friends who were in it for their experience. I still feel so lucky that eventually, I got my chance.
Behind the scenes at my Camstar shoot! Me in a red robe and wig cap with a full face of glam makeup I don’t think a lot of models know what to expect when showing up to shoot for Camstar. Some of us have never shot with professionals and most camgirls are used to the comfort of their own rooms and doing nearly everything solo. I hope that by sharing about my time there models who are interested can be less intimidated by the process. It might even satisfy some general curiosity.
Spoiler alert: I had an amazing time
Let’s skip past the part where I was asked to do Camstar, and scheduled the shooting month. As the shoot got closer I had a few phone calls with the creative director. When it comes to Camstar they want your personality to shine through. I came up with some ideas for some shoots and we discussed the potential sets. After we finalized some ideas the creative director sent me fleshed-out visual examples of what we talked about as well as some of their own ideas so I had plenty to choose from. At the same time, I was in contact with another person for travel and accommodation arrangements. All taken care of by Xbiz/Camstar. Separately, I had to fill out about twenty questions for the interview and was able to add any others I could think of.
My initial impression was that everyone working on this was serious and professional about their job while also being welcoming and down to earth. Since I usually work alone the energy of a project like this didn’t really hit me until I arrived on set. We went through several photo sets that day and filmed a video interview. I was a little surprised by how many people worked in the building. This burst my bubble in the best way. At home, my world feels pretty small. Here, I felt surrounded by people who were passionate creative, and fun.
I arrived on set early for what would be a 12hr+ day. They provided lunch and had tons of snacks, drinks, and coffee. I filled out paperwork and then got in the makeup chair. Hair, makeup, and even wardrobe are all provided. Though I did bring some of my own things to add. The creative director had already pulled over a dozen looks from their massive dream closet to choose from. I felt like a celebrity. After meeting everyone I was working with that day, including the photographer and videographer, we were ready to begin.
You can only be so prepared
Fueled by imposter syndrome I did my best to prepare for my Camstar shoot. I was working out, going through every beauty routine, and researching modeling poses on youtube. I wanted to feel like I belonged on set and that I knew what I was doing.
We started with some simple shots and I went through my tried and true poses and positions. I remember going over the little tricks in my head. Keep your tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth for a snatched jawline. Engage your core. One foot in front of the other. Soft hands, fingers closed, toes pointed. Look ever so slightly toward the top of the camera lens to make your eyes bigger. With all these things going through my head no wonder, I froze up.
I took a breath and re-centered myself. Sensing my hesitation, the photographer kindly helped me into some more poses and got me moving again. I reminded myself that I’d been in this industry for years. I belonged there and I knew what I was doing. My confidence rose and I remembered that at the end of the day what I wanted to translate in the photos was my energy and personality. Just have fun with it!
By the end of the day, I was exhausted but inspired. Even though I had an early flight the next day I couldn’t help but stay up for hours that night reliving every exciting moment. I thought back when I would gaze envious and awestruck at other Camstar’s. Now, I would be one of them.
