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Over A Decade Making Porn! Why Am I Still Working In The Adult Industry 11 Years Later?
I recently celebrated eleven years as a performer and creator in the adult industry, and I can hardly believe it myself. This blog is not to encourage anyone into joining the adult industry, but to share my personal experiences working in adult content.
As I relaxed in my cute cozy apartment, accompanied by my two large old cats, I reflected on all the time that had past. So much had happened. Some things changed, while others remained the same. All in all, it felt like it had gone by so fast. I began my career in the adult industry as a cam model on myfreecams before pivoting and focusing on independent porn creation. But even back when I started, I knew I had found something special. The variety. The flexibility. Starting out I thought ‘I can never get bored doing this!’ For the most part, young model me was right. I’ve learned a lot through my work and still do every day.
How My Career In Amateur Porn Began
Everything started with the light on a webcam. Starting off felt slow. I was still in college earning my communication degree and living with a bunch of roommates. It made finding the time and privacy to cam incredibly difficult to say the least. Once I got my feet wet, and got the hang of dancing naked on the internet, my whole life started to change. I went from an exhausted college student on food stamps, to an energized creative cam model. I had more freedom, more money and most importantly, more time.
It wasn’t long before I started traveling in search of others in my field. I was able to fly across the country to meet and work with other models and attend huge adult conventions and meet ups. I had found a wild wonderful world in which I fit right in. No longer was I the naked roommate, but a jet setting internet stripper! Dancing and attracting eyes from around the world filled me with excitement. Performing for 100s of people at a time. What a rush!
A few years in I began creating my own porn videos to sell, which I started liking even more than streaming. Making adult videos is the majority of my work now, but I still look back on my early days as a cam model and smile.
The Top 3 Reasons I Still Love Making Adult Content
Even with the threats to the adult industry as a whole, the fierce competition, and the stigma the job holds, why am I still in love with making porn for a living?
One of the first benefits I gained being an adult content creator was the independence. I have the freedom to live my own life exactly how I want to live it. That’s everything to me. I’m able to curate a lifestyle most aligned with my goals and future plans. Of course the money has made the independence possible, but it’s also about the control of scheduling, being able to work from home, as well as the feeling you can only get from working for yourself. I fell in love with all of those things while camming and filming.
Working in the adult industry has also inspired my creative sexual energy. I’ve always been fascinated with both art and sex and my work is where both of those passions can collide beautifully. I completely understand why not everyone could do what I do. It requires a sexual openness and curiosity that not everyone has, and that’s ok.
I think some people would even accuse me of ‘glamorizing’ my job. I’m not saying there aren’t downsides. Like all industries, adult work can chew people up and spit them out. For me though, the adult space I work in gives me room to stretch out and be purely me. Creative sexual energy and all. In a world where we all have to work to survive, I’d much rather have a job that I can connect with and enjoy. If you want to know more about how porn inspires me creatively, check out my blog about the versatility of JOI to see how I explore my favorite porn genre on a deeper level.
This last reason could be a bit controversial. There’s no doubt that porn has a cultural Impact on our society, but I would argue that that’s a good thing. While my work is still work, and I do my job to put food on the table, I still get to make a contribution to the culture around me. That’s not possible in every job.
Through creating porn I get to make content that promotes self care and relaxation, joy and sexual acceptance, and just really great orgasms. Call my crazy, but I think that makes the world a little lovelier to live in. I love what I do. I also value how it impacts our society as a whole, despite what anti-porn advocates may believe.
What Have I Learned From Selling Porn For A Living?
Stay true to your boundaries and beliefs. Don’t be afraid to be alone. Take more pictures to remember it all by.
I also would have treated it like a business earlier on. Chances are, no one taught you how to work for yourself in school. While I got good grades and was considered a smart student, I only made it through school because of fierce self determination. I struggled to understand the material during class and would have to focus on it by myself before learning it properly. Years later I would get diagnosed with ADHD and all the struggling in school suddenly made sense.
However, I think that self teaching way of thinking and doing things set me on a good path when I found myself responsible for my own schedule, content, performances, everything. Don’t get me wrong. It took me a long time to feel comfortable and productive with my work, but it never would have happened if I wasn’t confident I could teach myself anything and everything I needed to keep getting better.
If I Could Go Back, Would I Do It All Again?
If I knew what I knew now? I’d do it all again but better. I’d have way more confidence for one. Not just in my appearance, but in my creativity and ideas. I think too often I would assume that other people knew more then me, or knew better. But most of the time you need to do what’s best for yourself. That includes being confident in your own choices and standing by them.
It be nice to go back in time and tell my younger self ‘Fuck imposter syndrome’ because I think that holds a lot of people back from going all in on their passions. I belong and feel at home in the adult industry. It’s where my artistry and sexual creativity flourish. It’s been eleven years, and I still can’t think of anything else I would rather be doing.
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My best advice for filming your own Porn? Just do it!
~ You can find all my links on my About Me ~
This is NOT a ‘starter guide’. This is how I look at content creation and the advice I give when asked about my process
When I first entered the industry I avoided creating videos. I was intimidated by the idea of trying something I felt I didn’t have the resources for. This is a mistake a lot of us make in work and in life. We hold ourselves back from creating in the hopes that one day we’ll have all we need to make it perfect. If you’re a perfectionist you know what I mean and this will be a struggle. I feel you, but this is the time to push past it.
I bet everyone can relate to having a job to do and not having the resources to pull it off. If you’ve checked my ‘About Me‘ you know I didn’t start with an ideal situation for cam, let alone for filming. Back then it felt like starting a race a mile from the track. But if we sit around waiting for everything to be prepared and perfect before we start, we’ll never begin.
If you’re an artist you may be feeling like your work is never complete or never exactly how you want it. Every project I’ve finished I could see ways to improve it by the end. But that’s what should be happening because it means you’re learning and improving. Challenging yourself to film in difficult environments and situations is not ideal or easy, but it WILL make you a better filmmaker. Years later I now have a collection of over 200 videos I’m proud of, and it’s growing all the time.
The difference between ‘professional’ and ‘amateur’
Lux Neon in a pink bikini top and black yoga pants When most people think about porn, one or two scenarios probably pop into their heads. Images of old leather couch sets, a gonzo style camera angle and an interview involving fresh talent. Or maybe you picture a Cali mansion scene gang bang with your favorite headlining porn stars. Don’t get me wrong, the adult entertainment industry is constantly putting out movies in a variety of contexts and quality and it’s inspiring. It’s just not what I do. Not exactly anyway.
When I’m filming smutty clips I don’t have a team or a camera person or a fellow performer to film with. No matter the number of years under my belt I and most camgirls are considered ‘amateur’ because we do everything ourselves when it comes to performance and creation. In general, an amateur (or indie) porn creator is producing content at a ‘lower’ quality level than big porn companies. There are pros and cons to both but we’ll leave that for another day.
I do want to mention the incredible influx of creators over the years who are pushing the boundaries of what’s considered ‘amateur’ every day. I’ve seen individuals and small teams produce films that could rival any of the big names. Even so, it’s by no means a requirement to look professional to go far in this industry as an independent.
Seek inspiration in your surroundings
A screenshot from the Lux Neon video “Captured by the Hot Enemy Spy” When you look around what do you see? Seriously, what are you thinking about when you look around your environment? As much as I’d like it to happen, good ideas for photo sets and clips don’t always pop into my head out of nowhere. Sure, there are plenty of go-to clip ideas in porn but we’re going to take it a step further in this article. This is about exploring your best ideas and not letting your surroundings hold you back.
Screenshot from the Lux Neon video “Harley Quinn Steals a Kiss” When looking for inspiration grab onto anything that gets you excited. An outfit, toy, or llama mask. A great way to build this adaptable mindset is by training yourself to see things in a different way. I had an aerial instructor who would say ‘the thing is not the thing’ to encourage us to play. Imagine using common objects in ways they weren’t intended. Unleash the imaginative kid in you. If you get stuck here, try books like “Steal like an artist” by Austin Kleon to get your brain cooking in ways you’re not used to. As creatives, we have no choice but to break open out own imaginations and apply them to the world around us. Fuck what anyone else thinks!
When I’m looking for video ideas I’m in the mindset that there are hot fantasies everywhere waiting to be uncovered. Just because an object or an area isn’t inherently sexy doesn’t mean it can’t be used to enhance a sexual fantasy expressed on camera.
Screenshot from the Lux Neon video “Bratty Cheerleader JOI” A friend of mine had a filing cabinet so I moved it to a corner, stuck a plant on it and filmed a college office scene. A garage was the perfect backdrop for a sexy spy capture scene. I’ve blocked my front door by setting up boxes and other debris in my hallway so I can make it look like an abandoned building for Harley Quinn. When I get an idea in my head I’ll run around my entire apartment gathering random objects I think can enhance the scene. There’s not a song I can’t dance to and there’s not a 3×3 corner I can’t film porn in. The more you practice the better you’ll get at thinking this way.
Focus on what you have, not what you lack
This is the whole point. This is a way of thinking. A mindset you can adapt to your filming, art, and everyday life. There are ways to build up this skillset and develop this mentality and once you have it, you can’t unsee it. You’ll be surprised by what you can see once you start looking. But you have to begin somewhere.
Screenshot from Lux Neon’s 1st video from 2013 Whenever other creators ask me for advice on content creation the first thing I say is to start. The first video I ever filmed was with an old camera in my bedroom essentially rolling around naked on the floor. I had no idea what I was doing and that’s just fine. And yes, I still sell that video to this day because I want people to see how far I’ve come over the years.
Just DO IT!
There is no one way to go about amateur filming. You can do just as well ignoring this strategy entirely and filming in front of a white wall for the rest of your career. This became my way of doing things out of necessity and I think a lot of content creators can relate. I hope that by sharing this I can educate, inspire or entertain. That’s always the goal.
Lux Neon posing in the sun in a pink bikini top, white tube top and black yoga pants. If I want creators to remember anything it’s that there is no one else exactly like them. Don’t be intimidated to create because somethings been done before. Put your own spin on it and make it yours. Also remember you’ll get better. You will get learn as you go and those who enjoy your content will love watching your growth. Don’t let fear and insecurity hold you back. Create, create, create!
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A Camgirl reviews… “Camgirl” by Isa Mazzei
~ You can find all my links on my About Me ~
(No Spoilers) A regular from my cam room bought me this book when I was chatting about my sex worker library. A collection of books I’ve gathered over the years written by or about sex workers, sex and sexuality. I’m a fan of the movie thriller ‘Cam’ on Netflix (Also created by Mazzei) so I shot this book to the top of my reading list. I had no idea what to expect. Admittedly, memoirs are not a genre I frequent. I was worried a book like this wouldn’t keep my interest. Which is ridiculous because I devoured it in two days. Two because I forced myself to stretch it out so I could give my brain proper digestion time.
While an easy read, it may have you gasping in public because of its content. I want to point out that I have an obvious bias being IN the camming community while reading this. I remember TheOnlyUna. I was at some of the events she describes in these memoirs. I know some of the people she mentions. I will not be commenting on those specifics or my own memories from that time. Though I’d like to point out that memories can be fickle. Mazzei points this out herself and elaborates on her decision to pull strictly from memory which I respect. I’d just like to say, don’t take all the specifics in the stories to heart.
This memoir is not necessarily about being a camgirl. It’s about Mazzei. This is not to say it won’t help your curiosity for the industry. She was part of the cam scene for two years and has plenty to tell. It fulfills that craving while making you reflect on your own inner demons. It dives raw and unafraid into the bleakest and most vulnerable parts of Mazzei’s journey. Both in life and sex work. Whatever you’re expecting, it’s more.
Be ready to get real
Cover of “Camgirl” by Isa Mazzei, reviewed by camgirl Lux Neon I struggled to find empathy at some points. There were times when I felt defensive. Angry even. I reached a point where I wanted to stop reading. Like every community, cam land is not made of one type of person. I’ve always known there are models who manipulate, lie and don’t care about ethics. That doesn’t mean I was prepared to get into the head of one. Despite these feelings, it was obvious in the text how self-aware Mazzei is about these parts of herself. She also makes a point to say how the experience of camming varies from person to person. If nothing else, I hope you walk away from this book seeing how everyone’s experience is different and they’re all valid. Release the stereotypes that might plague your mind deeper than you know.
This memoir does not sugar coat. If you can’t leave your own shame at the door, be prepared for an emotional ride. I know this might seem obvious once said but some people don’t remember being a camgirl is a job. That is to say, the stories of those who do this job are wide and varied like any other. There are those in the industry with wonderful stories and those full of strife. “Camgirl” shows both sides and everything in between.
So let’s get into it… (Possible Spoilers ahead)
Mazzei had a unique life from the start. It was only natural her life as a camgirl would be just as interesting. I think what was especially refreshing about this read is how open and honest she is no matter the subject that arises. It builds a sense of trust with the reader. It made me trust that there would be a ‘lesson learned’ type of ending and I was not disappointed. From her perspective, she couldn’t have changed for the better without camming. What almost starts as a variety of disconnected stories tie together until they’re perfectly bound by this narrative. People have talked about how sex work can help heal those who seek it out. Was Mazzei trying to show us how sex work can heal the worker as well? Or at least that it has the potential to?
For me, the journey captured in Mazzei’s writing is dark and beautiful in its depth. It’s a story framed with radical vulnerability and openness. The courage required for such deep self analyzation and emotional work is remarkable to see. I put down this book with a flurry of thoughts and emotions. It made me feel empowered to live more fearlessly. It made me think about my own relationship with my work and myself. It made me a little more cautious too.
It takes all kinds
Everyone who becomes a camgirl gets to that point for a variety of reasons. Over the years and as the adult industry has grown and changed these reasons have evolved too. While it’s easy to imagine the industry in a bubble, it’s not impenetrable to the outside. We’d be making a mistake to stick to the one or two stereotypical narratives that continue to circulate and pull focus. We hear from the privileged sex workers who love their job and find endless fulfillment. We hear about those who’ve been victimized by the industry or do the job as a ‘last resort’. These sides are valid. At the same time, it’s refreshing and challenging to follow Mazzei beyond the surface that many of us (camgirls) float at out of fear of judgment.
Is it scary to expose the industry and the people within it this way? From my side it is. The stigma against sex workers continues to endanger the community and people I care for. But it’s also necessary to expand the view of those outside the industry with human-centered narratives like these. We can’t freeze up and hide further to pressure a positive opinion from society. I think in the long run stories like these are what we’ll need the most. I think we need more sex worker perspectives in all of their diverse aspects out for the world to see. If you’re at all curious about the adult industry then this memoir will not disappoint. If you’re in the industry I hope it inspires you to share your story too.
